The Pros and Cons of a First Look

As you plan your wedding day, you may be asking yourself, should I do a first look? It has become more and more common in recent years for brides and grooms to see each other before the ceremony. The more common it has become, the more opinions there are about it! 

Traditionally, it was considered “bad luck” for a groom to see his bride before walking down the aisle, but there has been a shift in thinking in modern weddings today! As a wedding photographer, and former bride myself, I have first-hand experience with the pros and cons of having a first look. I want to share them with you here today!

Now before I dive in, here’s a caveat: no matter what I say here or any recommendations I give, I would never want you to feel pressured one way or another! Whether you have a first look or not, you will get married. Your wedding will be beautiful. You will have an awesome time! Alright, now let’s dive in!

The Pros of Having a First Look

I’d like to start off by going over the benefits of a first look on your wedding day. This can be summed up in four advantages: reduced nerves, more private time together, timeline advantages, and more pictures.

Advantage 1: Reduced Nerves

First, having a first look tends to reduce anxious nerves, especially for the groom! As beautiful as it is for a groom to watch his bride walking down the aisle, it can be overwhelming! A huge moment like this can be stressful in itself, but to make matters worse all eyes are on him. Think about it: when the bride walks down the aisle, sure guests look at her, but they also quickly turn to see how the groom is reacting! Having anywhere from 75 to 300+ pairs of eyes on you is stressful! Even the most confident men can feel overwhelmed by the moment. One thing that can make it better is reassuring words from his bride, his best friend, in the moments before the ceremony. I’ve seen anxious men relax and calm down instantly by seeing their bride at the first look. What can I say, us ladies have that effect on our fellas!

Advantage 2: More Private Time

Secondly, a first look gives you more private time together. If you don’t do a first look, the only time that the two of you will be alone together is when you’re taking portraits. Even then, you’re not really alone. You’ll have photographers and videographers giving you instructions the whole time. While the photo and video team will be present for the first look, we’re not nearly as intrusive. We are documenting from afar, giving you space to be together. After setting you in your place to get the moment started, we aren’t giving you any more direction until you’re ready. You get the moment to truly just be. Your groom can tell you how beautiful you look, hug you, and kiss you. If the first time he sees you is at the ceremony, all those reactions will have to wait until the ceremony is done! Then it won’t be as fresh anymore. 

Advantage 3: Help with Timeline

Another benefit of the first look is that it helps your timeline. When you don’t have a first look, almost all portraits have to be taken after your ceremony. This includes family, wedding party, and bride and groom portraits. This is a lot to fit into your cocktail hour. It will feel rushed. It may feel stressful. You won’t get as many combinations of pictures. This is especially true of late fall and winter weddings. Once daylight savings time ends in early November, sunset often happens during or soon after your ceremony. I almost always recommend a first look between November and February so that we can make sure your portraits are done before sunset.

Advantage 4: More Portraits

Lastly, a first look allows you to have more bride and groom portraits. When you do a first look, we always take a few portraits immediately following. Then after the ceremony, if it’s still daylight, we have time to take a few more “golden hour” pictures if you’d like. We can choose a new background and have more variety of pictures! This is also particularly helpful if there’s a chance of rain. You have two different time options for taking pictures, which doubles your chance of finding a pocket without rain!

The Cons of Having a First Look

I’m going to be up front with you – I don’t have as much to say about the disadvantages of a first look. But that’s not to say there aren’t any, so here they are.

Disadvantage 1: Earlier Hair and Makeup

The first disadvantage of a first look is that you have to have your hair and makeup done a little earlier. When we do a first look, we are usually building in time for pre-ceremony portraits. This usually includes the wedding party as well. (While we don’t technically have to take portraits before the ceremony, most couples do so that they can check them off the list!) On average, this means you both need to be ready about an hour earlier than you would have needed to be without a first look. This could be an issue for brides who have trouble waking up early or who have venues that don’t give them early access to start hair and makeup.

Disadvantage 2: Departure from Tradition

The other disadvantage, if you want to see it that way, is not sticking to tradition. Your mom or grandmother might push back a little. Maybe you even feel a little resistance to the notion of letting your groom see you before the wedding. It’s true that a first look is not the way it was done in the past, but for many brides that’s not a big deal. It doesn’t inherently break any religious codes (at least as far as I know!) and it doesn’t mean you’re going to ruin your marriage! It’s simply a newer way of doing things. 

One concern I’ve heard couples voice is that walking down the aisle “won’t be as special” if the groom has seen the bride already. While I cannot speak for everyone, I can tell you time and time again I’ve seen couples crying both at the first look and again when seeing each other walk down the aisle. I don’t think you can take away how special that moment is! If you don’t believe me, just take a look at this groom in the pictures below!

So Should You Do a First Look?

To sum it up, I tend to think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but ultimately it’s up to you! I am here to support each of my couples whichever way they choose to first see each other, whether that be in a first look or at the ceremony. Ultimately, you have to choose what feels right to you!